Personal Thoughts
As I stated in a previous post, I’m attempting to be more open and share more personal thoughts on my blog. Well, the following post is something that I’ve been “working on” for a bit, and finally got around to putting it up. Thanks to A. for encouragement, as it seems we were having similar thoughts at the same time.
On the way home one day last week, I was listening to one of my favorite albums, Sea of Faces by Kutless. Driving along with the windows down and the radio pumped up, I was singing along, though my mind was elsewhere, thinking about a thousand different things at once. Then the sixth track, Passion, began play. As has happened before, there is something about the song that just tugs at me and focuses my attention to the Savior. Read these lyrics to the chorus:
”Nail pierced hands they run with blood
A splitting brow forced by the thorns
His face is writhing with the pain yet it’s comforting to me”
Wow! I get goose bumps even as I simply read these lyrics, much less hear them sung, picturing Christ enduring that humiliating, unbearable torture for me and you, for all of the sinful human race. Yet here I am, in a daily struggle, often fighting against God’s will when I know I should follow Him unquestioningly. He suffered on the cross for me, yet I can’t seem to force myself to go a day without doing something to disappoint Him. As the great hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” goes:
”Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love,”
And Paul, in Romans 7:19, says
”For what I do is not the good I want to do;
no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.”
Ah, evil… Confound Satan! (and that’s definition 6 on dictionary.com) Why must he be there at every turn, toying with us, tempting us, seeking to draw us away from Christ?!? When things are going great, he knows exactly where our weak spot is, and hits us hard, again and again and again, trying to bring us down. When we’re down and out, he knows exactly what to put in our path that will be uplifting for the moment, but only hurt us worse in the long run. No way in the world can we stand up to him alone. He’s too wily, to subtle and conniving. We’re mere humans; he’s a fallen angel. The odds in Vegas would be pretty lopsided…
I think I’ve been on cruise control for too long now. Things have been so well and trouble free for so long now that this has caused me to grow weak in my faith, casual in my walk and take things for granted, without being fully aware that I was. And Satan has caught on. I can feel him flanking me, preparing to engage me in battle on some front that I’m not certain of. Seems that he knows my weak points better than I do. Or maybe I do know my weaknesses, but I’m not willing to admit them to even myself.
I have to remain strong in faith, prayful, and keep my eyes and mind focused on “His face…writhing with the pain.” I must take comfort that He will not tempt me beyond what I can bear, that He will provide a way out of situations, even ones that I gotten myself into by ignoring His will. The things of this world can seem so easy and satisfying, but the road less traveled, the path towards God, is where the real rewards and peace of rest will be found. I must trust God for strength to walk that path, because I know that I can’t do it alone.
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Jun 29th, 2004 at 16:52:41
We’ve all been there and found our selves thinking the same thing. And what needs to be done is what you have been doing staying grounded in the word, and seeking brothers and sisters in Christ to discuss/talk with. You know your brother is always there for you, and has to talk with. Once a brother always a brother. God uses many ways to get across his message right when it needs to be gotten across, through song, encouragement, or a web post. It’s amazing where you will see Him when you search for Him.
Jun 29th, 2004 at 17:29:56
Glad you shared with us Chris. I agree that you’ve got the right idea.. stay focused on HIm and you will be headed in the right direction. I hope this verse will encourage you.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (Phil 4:8)
Jun 29th, 2004 at 21:37:55
I think you’re feeling the presence of Satan because you are seeking to become more focused in your faith journey. I believe that as we grow stronger and more active in our relationship with God, Satan sees us as a threat and tries to impose more. I think he’s less interested in us when we stray from God. And, I think it’s very normal for us to cruise along and lose focus when things are good. I’ve grown closest to God during my lowest points. It’s then when I can surrender control and fully depend on Him. Chris, I like how you sorted through your feelings by writing this post. You seemed more at peace and focused on God’s awesome love by the end of your post. I often find clarity when I journal during trying times. I’m glad you have good Christian friends to support and encourage you.
Jun 29th, 2004 at 22:58:53
Chris,
I thought of the same scripture that you talked about later in the post as I was reading the beginning.
I know what you mean here:
I just read what John Ortberg wrote about the discipline of suffering, and man… isn’t it true that a lot of times, that is when we really turn to God, when the chips are down? But then, I guess there are some people, who feel abandoned and utterly reject God.
Jun 30th, 2004 at 23:37:35
Nick,
That’s a good point. It’s hard to Rejoice in the Lord always. It’s strange how for some it’s hard in the tough times, and for others it’s hard in the good times because they don’t feel like the *need* God.
Jul 3rd, 2004 at 21:02:11
I just want to comment here again and encourage you to post more posts like this. I think sometimes I comment on things that are somehow easier to talk about, but I want to encourage you to share your challenges and experiences.
You know what else I found today while cleaning my room? You remember those verses we memorized during lent one year? Yeah, I need to do a lot of refreshing!
Jul 4th, 2004 at 00:20:20
Yep, Ashlee, I remember those verses. A lot of refreshing is needed on my behalf too! The flash cards for those verses have been by my bed for a long time now, so I can memorize them all again, but that hasn’t really happened lately… In fact, my verses of the week are largely inspired from that collection, so hopefully that will help me remember them.
Jul 13th, 2004 at 03:02:15
I usually don’t comment on posts like this, just because I don’t know what to say. But all I’m going to say is that my cousin is one the most (spirituly) strong people I know. He has always’pushed’ me to Christ. And he doesn’t know how gratful I am for that. I think Kari made a good point. The closer you ‘walk’ to Christ the harder Satan trys to pull you away. But as long as we keep walking tourds our saviour we will eventually reach him and wrap our arms around him. Then, and only then will we be protected from the sin that is ALWAYS trailing closly behind. So keep walking Chris, no matter how hard it gets. Not just Chris, but everyone. We need to always support eachother, as we should, being the brothers and sisters in God’s family, we are all connected, and one person’s sin affects another. That is why we need to band together and battle the ‘temptations’ of sin. No one can do it alone… That’s a fact. Well that’s all I have to say, and sorry for the mispellings as well lol…
–Bryan