When you least expect it, and sometimes when you least want it, God shows up.

I had a pretty sucky start to the weekend. Let’s just say that Jenna Fischer and I have something in common now… (We’re both single) It’s for the best - we were both unhappy and making things worse the harder we tried - but when so much of your identity and life has been wrapped up in someone else and it’s suddenly gone, it’s gonna hurt.

As much as I’ve ranted and been angry at God lately for the way things were going, as much as I wanted Him to just leave me alone and let me be in control and handle things, I can’t help but see God providing for me during the aftermath. In what could have been an empty weekend, I suddenly had places to go, people to see and other distractions that kept me busy and not dwelling on things. Tuesday at work could have been an slow, awful day, but the day flew by, as has the week so far. I take refuge in music in times like this, and I’ve heard a lot of new music lately, or randomly heard “older” songs, that are very meaningful, relevant and comforting right now. (I’ve posted several of these songs in earlier posts.) I led Bible study on Tuesday and it went very well, considering I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been and my focus could have very easily been elsewhere. I wasn’t expecting to start grad school until October, but I was accepted just in time for the fall term start in August. Most of all, I have some awesome friends that have really stepped up in my time of need. Some simply listened, some talked and tried to get my mind off things, others urged me and helped me get all the emotions out and others provided things for me to do and an escape from being trapped alone at home. Thank you friends!

Looking back at all of this, I can clearly see God providing for me during this time. I hate to thank God, though, when I’m still frustrated at Him and blaming Him for things, but I really can’t help it. Whether we like it or not, He’s got our back, even when we’ve turned ours.

Speaking of music, here are two more new songs that seem coincidently relevant right now…

Artist: Caedmon’s Call
Title: Always Been There
Album: Overdressed

We’ve all got our burdens
Our secrets and our shames,
We’ve all been discouraged
and watched love fall in flames,
and when we hit the bottom
Of all that we can bear
and we need you

You’re rising like the morning sun
A pillar in the night
You looked into the void
and called it light
You are faithfully providing
For the trouble that we share
When we need you
You’ve always been there

Blessed are the poor
All around the world
Your children
Living under war and oppression
To the man of sorrows
They whisper up their prayers
and when they need you

and how do we know
In the dark of the night
To call out for You, Lord,
To come with Your light?
We were born with you written on our hearts
and that we need you

Grey Holiday - Let Go
(I don’t have an mp3 of this song yet, so you’ll have to listen to it on Myspace for now)

Artist: Grey Holiday
Title: Let Go
Album: Glorious Revolution

I’ve been holding on
To things like dreams that never seem to die
And I’m not so strong to lay them down
And say my goodbyes
How do you say goodbye?

If there’s a remedy
A break from all my vanity
Then I’m gonna need Your help
If there is hope for me
Pull me down to my knees
Where I’m begging for Your help
To let go

It’s so unnatural
To let all that I’ve planned just slip away
But I would be a fool
To tighten up my hands and be afraid
What I need is faith

I’m walking right up to the edge
I’m bringing everything that’s left of me
I throw my self into Your love
You’ll be the one to lift me up again
As I let go