Vacation, here I come!

July is going to start off with a bang! July 1st through July 12th are going to be some crazy but totally awesome days.

First up was the STARS day camp on July 1st. Basically, this is a day long activity camp put on by the STARS organization (read this previous post about STARS for more info about the org). This is the second year I’ve volunteered at the camp, and it was just as heart-wrenching at the first. It really pulls at the heart strings hearing the kids talk about their losses. The kids this year were GREAT! 35 attended the camp and with the exception of only one or two, they were all very well behaved. The camp basically consists of fun activities such as trampolines, wall climbing, arts and crafts, etc. that are the related back to grief, with the goal of helping the kids deal with losses. I worked a group of six 10 yr. olds, who had lost 3 fathers, 2 grandparents and a sister. Tough stuff, but most of the kids are strong and will make it okay. Though it’s an early and long day, it’s totally worth it.

Next up is a white water rafting adventure! A group of 7 from church is heading out to WV for 2 nights of camping and a rafting trip down the New River. The weather looks PERFECT! I had tried to plan a trip last year but it fell through. Not this year! WV, here we come!

We’re getting back from WV Saturday afternoon, then continuing my road trip adventures, I’ll be heading down to Lexington for a grill out and fireworks on Saturday, then back to Lexington on Sunday to visit Southland Christian Church, both with some great company!

Monday (or maybe Sunday evening), I’ll be doing something I’ve never done before - taking a vacation by myself. I’ll be packing up the car and heading for Maine! This is a trip I started looking into in 2005 but never could find the people to go. At the end of last year, while having a conversation with someone in my LifeGroup, I caught myself saying “One day” and “I hope to” and “I wish” concerning trips I wanted to take and things I wanted to do. I’ve grown frustrated trying to find people to go on trips so I decided I wasn’t going to wait any long. Originally, a group of 10 of us were supposed to go to Gatlinburg for a week, but as seems to the case often these days, it fell through. Having already asked for the time off, I decided I wasn’t going to sit at home for a week. Then Maine popped in my mind.

This trip is going to be a challenge for me. First, I’ve done very little planning. I barely have the route planned out. Those of you who know me know this is very uncharacteristic. It’s partly intentional. I haven’t had much time to plan, between my class (which ended last week), planning for rafting, stuff at church and trips out of time, but I also decided I didn’t want to be stressed by following a detailed, structured, scheduled agenda; instead, I want to relax and enjoy the trip and just “go with the flow.”

Another reason for this little planned and solo trip is that I want to spend time with God. We’ve gone through quite a bit this year and through my intentional busyness, I’ve often ignored him, avoided things and haven’t fully processed all he’s been teaching me. I’m packing a couple books on which I want to focus and take notes, so I’m looking forward to sitting out on the beach or on top of a mountain, enjoying his vacation and learning and growing from what he will teach me.

Of course, I’ve realized in the last couple of days that I do need to plan somewhat. I need to make reservations for some of the things I want to do, and I hear hotels are everywhere up there, and will be crowded this time of year, so I needed to try to plan out that part of the trip as much as I can.

I have a few destinations/activities in mind: Acadia National Park, Freeport (L.L. Bean store), Mt. Katahdyn (northern terminus of the Appalachian Trail), Portland (light house) and Bar Habor (whale watching). I’m also going to try to hit the states I have not yet visited while up in New England: Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Hamphire and Vermont in addition to Maine. I hope to go geocaching in each of these states.

I’m going to try to be as minimalist as possible during my travels. I’m planning on taking a cooler and pack lunch meats and such for my meals as well as snacks with the intention of avoiding fast food as much as possible. I will definitely make room in the budget for a lobster dinner, though.

I’m also planning to avoid hotels for all but a couple nights. My camping gear will be making the trip with me, so I’ll be sleeping under the stars several of the nights.

That’s a quick rundown of my upcoming adventures. If you follow me on Facebook, watch for status updates and pictures throughout the trip. (Sorry, Twitterers, I won’t be posting there for safety reasons.)

As with my Shenandoah backpacking trip, I plan to keep a journal and post when I return, along with pictures.

Until I return, ciao!

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I’ve given up on trying to get to bed at my usual time…less stressful that way, not having that pressure #

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I should have known better…tried for upgrade my iPhone to 3.0 and now it’s a brick #

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Last week, I had an appointment with my doctor for a routine physical (which I hadn’t had since college) and routine blood work (which I had never had done).

This was prompted by trouble sleeping and excessive thirst back in April. At the time, I wasn’t too concerned about it. I thought it was due to stress, from being too busy and other events around that time. After the symptoms persisted and several people suggested they matched those for diabetes, I scheduled a visit.

This past Monday, I got a call from the doctor with the results. As was suggested, the symptoms were indeed caused by diabetes. The doctor diagnosed me with Type II diabetes mellitus (adult-onset diabetes). My fasting blood sugar was 255 mg/dL, with the normal range being 60-115 mg/dL. The doctor prescribed Metformin, is sending me to a diabetes education class next week and will check up on me in three months.

This news is still sinking in. It’s one thing to hear I have it; it’s another to realize how it could affect my life. Other than the thirst, which has returned to normal in recent weeks, and trouble sleeping, I don’t feel “sick.” Everything is about to change though. I’m going to have to pay attention to what I’m eating, watch my portion sizes, count carbs. My love of pasta and bread is going to have to be held in check. No more eating what I want, when I want. Exercise is no longer going to be something I do for enjoyment but will become a necessary part of life.

I’m not sure what led to me “getting” this disorder. There’s no family history (though my dad is borderline as of recent years). I’ve tried to stay active, maintain my weight, drink plenty of water, avoid sugary pop, eat healthy, watch portions, etc. Sure, I don’t always get it right, but I didn’t think eating too many fruit snacks one day or too many O’Charley’s rolls another would affect me that much. I’ve read that 80-90% of Type II diabetics are overweight, but that’s not the case here. In fact, I’ve gotten healthier since I started doing 5Ks three years ago.

Regardless of why I didn’t think could be diabetes, once the symptoms were associated with the disorder, I was sure I had done this to myself. I thought I could pinpoint a period a few months ago where I slipped up more than usual and wasn’t taking care of myself as I should have been. I was sure this had thrown my body so out of whack, there was no recovery. However, this has been discounted by several people. Apparently, diabetes isn’t something you can just “do” to yourself.

This is hard for me to accept, that it just happened, that my body just isn’t working right. In typical Chris fashion, there has to be a reason, I have to know what caused it. I don’t think I’m ever going to get that answer and that is hard for me to swallow.

My issues with acceptance don’t stop there. Another aspect I’m having trouble accepting is that I’m going to be on medicine. For the rest of my life. I don’t like taking medication. Even if I have a bad headache or a migraine, I usually suffer through it without taking medication. Now I have to be intentionally consistent with taking the prescribed medication, dealing with any side effects, most likely until the day I die. That bothers me to no end. I feel like this is a short term sickness, just like any other, that will go away after a few days or so. I’m still of the mindset that a better diet and more exercise will return everything to normal.

That’s the other issue that I have. I want to beat this. I want to research and learn everything I can about it, find the cause, find the solution and work hard to knock it out, just like any other goal I have.

But I can’t.

Everything that I’ve read says diabetes does not have a cure. So while it’s treatable with diet, exercise and medication, it seems I’m stuck with it. And that is so very hard for me to stomach. I can’t accept that I have to learn to live with this, that there’s nothing I can do to return my glucose levels to normal, to “teach” my body to use its insulin properly again or make more of it. It just doesn’t make sense that I can’t correct what’s wrong.

I think that’s going to be the hardest part of coping with this disorder - accepting that it was nothing I did to cause it and accepting that there’s nothing I can do to fix it.

There a Sunday School lesson in there, that like salvation, it’s not about what we do. Christ accepts us and loves us as He made us. There’s nothing we can do or stop doing that can make Him love us any more or less than He already does. But how often do we struggle with not feeling worthy, thinking we have to do or be more to earn His love or get noticed? How often do we try to add control to lives by our deeds, rather than just being in His mercy and grace? It’s so hard to realize how powerless we are, to let go and realize He’s taking care of everything.

I’ve worked in the pharmaceutical industry for almost 4.5 years now. I’ve worked on countless studies involving diabetes research. Metformin, fasting glucose, HbA1c, insulin, OGTT, timed meal tolerance tests and a number of other terms have become a part of my everyday life in the office.

Now these terms have taken on a whole new meaning and have become a part of my everyday life - period.

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All I have to say is someone is trying to pass the time while waiting for the final season…

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Usually, writers will do anything to avoid writing. For instance, the previous sentence was written at one o’clock this afternoon. It is now a quarter to four. I have spent the past two hours and forty-five minutes sorting my neckties by width, looking up the word “paisly” in three dictionaries, attempting to find the town of that name on The New York Times Atlas of the World map of Scotland, sorting my reference books by width, trying to get the bookcase to stop wobbling by stuffing a matchbook cover under its corner, dialing the telephone number on the matchbook cover to see if I should take computer courses at night, looking at the computer ads in the newspaper and deciding to buy a computer because writing seems to be so difficult on my old Remington, reading an interesting article on sorghum farming in Uruguay that was in the newspaper next to the computer ads, cutting that and other interesting articles out of the newspaper, sorting—by width—all the interesting articles I’ve cut out of newspapers recently, fastening them neatly together with paper clips and making a very attractive paper clip necklace and bracelet set, which I will present to my girlfriend as soon as she comes home from the three-hour low-impact aerobic workout that I made her go to so I could have some time alone to write.

Via Michael Hyatt.

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…video of a dance tribe forming spontaneously at a music festival.

My favorite part happens just before the first minute mark. That’s when guy #3 joins the group. Before him, it was just a crazy dancing guy and then maybe one other crazy guy. But it’s guy #3 who made it a movement.

Initiators are rare indeed, but it’s scary to be the leader. Guy #3 is rare too, but it’s a lot less scary and just as important. Guy #49 is irrelevant. No bravery points for being part of the mob.

We need more guy #3s.

The snowball effect is awesome. To borrow terminology from another source, guy #3 was the tipping point.

As a tangent, I wonder where this is. The scenery in the background is gorgeous!

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Though I have been to the doctor a few times over the years, usually to make sure a cough wasn’t (or already was) bronchitis, I haven’t been for a complete physical since college. Back in April, though, I started having some issues that prompted me to make an appointment. As I tweeted/Facebooked at the time: “Still waking up in middle of the night, over 2 wks now…add to it that I’ve been very thirsty throughout the day…might be time to see dr.” Several people commented on this, saying those could be symptoms of diabetes. I knew I wasn’t taking care of my self and was in a very stressful situation at the time, so I wasn’t overly concerned, but eventually I got fed up and tired of not sleeping well and being so dehydrated that I made an appt.

Around this time, I also had a discussion with my brother and dad in which they mentioned they had low HDL levels. When they found out I had never had any blood work done, they suggested I should, as a baseline if nothing else. So I asked for blood work to be done in additional to the physical.

Fast forward to today, almost six weeks later. The physical went fine (one nurse even asked if I was an athlete since my pulse was so great). But then came the blood draw and one of the those moments in life I hope I don’t have to experience again.

Prior to today, I’ve only had my blood drawn once, and that was when I was at my previous job. It was a non-fasting draw that was going to be used to calibrate some medical equipment. They bribed my with donuts…covered in sprinkles. I didn’t have any trouble with that experience, other than being a little uncomfortable with the pressure around the site of the stick.

Today, though, was different. First, I was fasting. Second, the morning hadn’t been so good. So as I sat outside the lab area, I watched as the lady in front of me was having a difficult time of it. The nurses kept telling her to talk to them, gave her a cold, wet towel for the forehead and brought her a glass of OJ. I tried not to pay attention, getting in the mindset that I was going to be okay, that it wouldn’t happen to me.

My turn came and the nurses started drawing blood as we made small talk. I didn’t look at the draw, not wanting to provoke a reaction, though I typically don’t have any problems with blood. The draw seems to take forever. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, they finished…with the first tube. One more to go. I began to get anxious and lightheaded, so I tried to focus on breathing deeply, but that didn’t work. As they finished drawing the second tube, I started to lose it. The nurses could tell. I started losing focus, got sweaty and lightheaded. The nurses kept insisting I talk to them, but I couldn’t get my brain and mouth to connect. They asked some questions - “Do you have any kids?” “Where do you work?” - and I’m really not sure if or how I answered. I think I tried to mumble something, but most of the time I was struggling with the problem that I just couldn’t focus or get words to come out. The next few minutes are a blur. I vaguely remember them waving something in front of my face (found out later it was smelly salts) then I found myself being laid on the floor with my legs elevated. Once I came around, I remember looking up at the face of someone who hadn’t previously been in the room, which turned out to be a doctor they had called to help out. That bad, huh…? They left me there, holding up the other patients for 5 minutes or so, then eventually moved me to another room. I laid there for another 10-15 minutes and scored some OJ, coffee cake and egg casserole from the very nice and friendly nurses before I was sent on my way. Afterward, one of the nurses said she knew I was going to bite it given the look on my face as I watched the lady in front of me.

Quite an experience, one which I hope I don’t have to repeat again. I’m thankful there hasn’t been need for blood work up until now. I hope the results come back okay. We’ll know in a few days.

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[Update: Here's a whole site of them: morenewmath.com]

Ennui = Boredom + thesaurus

Subpoena = Invitation - RSVP

Surrealism + bowling = Anchor

Entitlement - experience = Teenager

Fun at 30-year reunion: (Football captain’s baldness + cheerleader’s obesity)/Yours

Constructive criticism = You suck + here’s why

B + $8K = DD

Big Mac = Special sauce + lettuce + cheese + pickles + onion + cardboard

Helpmate = Husband - recliner

Uncle Sam x 24/7 = Big Brother

Tofu = Protein - fun

Crocs = sandals - dignity

Religion = Cult + 150 years

French = Latin + useless silent letters

Diet program = Anvil - Feather + Anvil

Movie at theater = movie at home + big screen + 120 db + $10/person + sitter + people texting in front of you + not clicking on Pause when you go to the bathroom

50 = 30 + 25 lbs.

Window of opportunity < door of failure

2009 = 2004 - money + hope

Iranian = Straight - M. Ahmadinejad, Tehran

Reality TV = Reality - real life

Chipmunk = Squirrel - rat

National debt problem = Whole lot of zeros + their bosses

401(k) + (2009 - 2008) = 201(k)

Unfashionable = Trendy + 3 months

15 +/- 14 = Express lane

Prostatitis = The urge/the stream

Eccentric = Insane/kind of amusing

Eureka = Wrong + wrong + wrong + wrong + not wrong

? + ? + ? + ? + salt = hot dog

Greenspan + 90dB - 40W = Cramer

Tween applying makeup = Clown face - clown

Husband = Boyfriend + buying feminine items at the supermarket

Snail mail = E-mail + punctuation - instantly regrettable impulse

United Nations = (Lofty ideas - ability to act) + funny blue helmets

Success = Failure + press secretary

Household budget = Income - expenses - Oh, they’re having a sale on big-screen TVs!

Travesty of justice = Total ink awarded - ink going to me

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